They start out staring each other down both dressed in white. Someone hire David Archuleta a posture coach. *sigh*

Anyway, on with the 1 hours and 55 minutes of mostly pointless filler before we actually get to the results. 97.5 million votes. Wow. Broke the record by 23 million. One received 56% and one 44%. Several of those are my votes for David Cook. But I kept getting busy signals. I took that as a good sign.

Former Idols Mikalah Gordon and Matt Rogers are in Missouri and Utah respectively at very loud pep rallies for the two Davids.

The Top 12 are reunited on the Idol stage along with stars of So You Think You Can Dance performing Get Ready. At least this way there is actually good dancing AND good singing.

Next up is a duet by the two Davids. And it was actually pretty good.

The next stupid and pointless “comedy” bit, I can’t really describe. Nor do I want to. So we’ll just never speak of it again. And American Idol needs to give me back the 5 minutes of my life they stole from me.

Syesha sings with Seal.

Jason Castro sings Hallelujah.

A montage of Ford commercial outtakes leading to the presentation of the keys to Ford Escape Hybrids to the Davids.

The top 6 girls are back singing Donna Summer songs - all dressed in red. I really like Kristy Lee’s dress. Amanda looked so not thrilled doing choreography and I didn’t like Carly’s black tights, but they both sounded good. Then Donna Summer herself joins them to sing her new single. Of course. Because really, does anyone come on just to come on and NOT promote their new single/album/movie/etc.? I loved when Donna gave Syesha her blinged out microphone to sing on. But why didn’t Ramiele get a solo?

Carly Smithson duets with Michael Johns. Welcome back you Aussie American hunk you!

Jimmy Kimmel recaps the season. I just really hope he doesn’t talk about Simon’s nipples again. Really.

Now it’s time for the Top 6 boys singing a Bryan Adams medley. Guess who has a new album out? You got it. Bryan Adams. Did Chikezie get a solo and I missed it? By the way, David Hernandez is the best dancer of the Davids.

Jordin pimps the American Idol Experience at Walt Disney World.

David Cook sings with ZZ Top. OMG!!!!! Now that is cool.

Brooke White and Graham Nash singing Teach Your Children.

The Jonas Brothers. Lots of screaming girls. They are pretty cute I must admit.

Next, it’s the best of the bad auditions. Is that an oxymoron? And one of them sings on the Idol stage. That’s when I go for my fast forward button.

One Republic. They are cool.

Jordin sings. Or lip syncs. Not sure if her voice is healed yet. But the cute part was showing Blake in the audience singing along with her.

Another stupid comedy bit that I won’t bother to describe. Give me back my time American Idol!!!

Carrie Underwood is looking and sounding good.

The Top 12 sing together for the last time. And they’re doing George Michael songs. Could George Michael be the next special guest? Well, yes, he is. Does he have a new album out? I don’t know, but he is going on tour. And that was a beautiful, introspective performance.

Did Archuleta sing with someone and I missed it? (Edited to add: He sang with One Republic - somehow I totally missed that.)

And finally, it’s time for the new American Idol to be crowned. It’s about damn time.

Simon Cowell apologizes to David Cook for his harsh critiques last night. Wow. And also, he doesn’t care who wins. For the first time.

And the winner is….

DAVID COOK!!!!!

Let’s get ready to rrrummmmbllllllleeee! I love that guy! And what a funny cute way to start the show.

David Cook
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (U2)

I thought this was a great performance. It didn’t stray that far from the original, but it definitely had the David Cook touch and it fit his voice well.

David Archuleta
Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me (Elton John)

He still has zero stage presence. But this might be the best he’s sung this season. Even though the band overpowered him a bit. A really good song choice.

Round 1 goes to: David Archuleta (as much as I hate to say it)

This season they get to choose a song from the top votegetters of the songwriter’s competition which makes MUCH more sense then anything they’ve ever done before.

David Cook
Dream Big (songwriter’s competition)

I liked the song and I liked how he performed it and I think it will be a great first single.

David Archuleta
In This Moment (songwriter’s competition)

Well, he sang it well, but it was a boring song and a boring performance. Bleh.

Round 2 goes to: David Cook (for a better song choice and a more memorable performance)

David Cook
The World I Know (Collective Soul)

I love this song and I loved this performance. It was understated and beautiful and perfect. It gave me chills. And though I usually agree with Simon, I don’t agree with much he said tonight, but I do think David Cook seems like a really nice guy.

David Archuleta
Imagine (John Lennon)

I didn’t like this the first time he did it at all. I thought he ruined the song for me. And I didn’t like it this time either. If you wanted a sincere beautiful performance, well Cook gave it. This was just not my cup of tea.

Round 3 goes to: David Cook (although Simon gave all the rounds to Archuleta)

I still honestly don’t know who will win. It could go either way. The judges seemed to be on the side of Archuleta. And in the end, it doesn’t matter who wins. David Cook will be successful - I have no doubt. David Archuleta will be a flash in the pan. So let what happens happen. You’ll be hearing David Cook’s name for a long, long time. He has the creativity and the skill to go far in the industry. I’ll be voting for him until I’m tired of it and I want him to win mostly because I don’t want Archuleta to.

The group song is “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now”. And it wasn’t bad at all.

The Ford commercial was cute. The song asked “how far is heaven”? As Ryan said, it’s just a week away.

Recap time.

Fantasia takes the Idol stage. She’s really come into her own as a performer.

Next up are the hometown visits.

David Archuleta is first. I almost sort of liked him. His dad is a different story.

Syesha Mercado is next. She totally made me cry.

David Cook is last. I love that he took flowers to his music teacher. Awww!

Results….

David Archuleta and David Cook are…the final 2!

Syesha is…going home.

I think this was pretty much inevitable. Now if Cook can defeat Archuleta, I’ll be a happy camper. Then again, I think Cook will succeed and do very well for himself whether he wins or not. But, we’ll find out next week.

David Archuleta
Paula’s choice: And So It Goes (Billy Joel)

I love this song. So he better not screw it up. I like that he started out a cappella, but I think what I really didn’t like was that he seemed to rush through the phrases and not spend time savoring the words. It was vocally pretty, but it had no emotion or meaning to it. And part of that is probably his age, but part of it is that he just sings words and notes and he doesn’t sing emotion. I didn’t hate it, but it didn’t do much for me either. There was a blahness to it - no feeling, no emotion. It’s a haunting beautiful song and it just didn’t feel that way when he sang it.

Syesha Mercado
Randy’s choice: If I Ain’t Got You (Alicia Keys)

This was a good performance - not a great performance. It was kind of boring overall.

David Cook
Simon’s choice: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (Roberta Flack)

A very odd choice, but strangely enough, it worked for him. And I loved the arrangement and the edge he gave it. In fact, it was pretty awesome.

David Archuleta
Idol’s choice: With You (Chris Brown)

Can someone teach him about posture? And personality? And how to move on stage? And how to choose good songs? Although it was nice to see him singing something a little more upbeat and young and not so sappy. Moving on.

Syesha Mercado
Idol’s choice: Fever (Peggy Lee)

I like that she tried something different. I like that she made it a performance instead of just singing the song. I don’t mind that she changed up the arrangement a bit, but I’m not totally sure I like the way she did it. This was a good performance, yes, but not a blow me away, oh my gosh, she should be in the finals performance. And I agree with the judges that she should have chosen something that showed who she is as an artist and this song wasn’t it. Unless she wants to be a “lame cabaret artist” as Simon said. Then again, it was better than Archuleta, so there you go.

David Cook
Idol’s choice: Dare You to Move (Switchfoot)

Well, Cook gets the first two rounds hands down. In this round, he showed who he is as an artist a lot more clearly than the other two did. I didn’t totally love the song, but it was a good performance.

David Archuleta
Producer’s choice: Longer (Dan Fogelberg)

Another song I love. Can someone tell him not to squint his eyes? Oh wait, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber already did that. Otherwise, it was one of his better performances for me. But not blow everyone out of the water. I think he was overall just okay tonight.

Syesha Mercado
Producer’s choice: Hit Me Up (Gia Farrell)

My favorite Syesha performance of the night. And with that, maybe she can edge out the kid into the finale. Probably not, but we shall see.

David Cook
Producer’s choice: I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing (Aerosmith)

It was a very good performance, but I wish they would have chosen another song for him. It felt a little copy cat to me. But very well sung, well done and definitely enough to get him into the finale. And he took all three rounds. Easily.

The inescapable group song is “Reeling in the Years”, a Steely Dan classic. It’s not bad, actually. The group songs have been pretty decent ever since a certain someone with three names who apparently can’t sing harmony on key was voted off. Just saying.

And a recap.

By the way, Simon had no business telling Jason that you don’t mess with Bob Marley. If he doesn’t want Marley messed with, then it shouldn’t be on the list.

Results…

David Archuleta is…safe! Big surprise. Not.

David Cook is…safe! Whew. That scared me for a minute.

So Syesha and Jason are…the bottom 2. No surprises there. Jason had an off night and Syesha has been in the bottom 2 more often than not I think.

This week’s Ford commercial has them all dressed like matadors and the car is the bull. The song, by the way, is A Ring of Fire. It was pretty bizarre.

Viewer Questions again. They didn’t take my advice to end it on a high note last week. But I’m watching this on the DVR, so I can fast forward! Yay!

Maroon 5 performs. I do like them, but I didn’t like the song too much.

Bo Bice is back!

Back to the results…

Syesha is…safe!

Jason is…going home.

I think Jason nailed it. His inexperience started to really show and he went as far as he could go in the competition. But he had some really memorable performances. Not bad for a drummer. ;)

David Cook
Hungry Like the Wolf (Duran Duran)

One of my favorite songs ever. If anyone else was singing this, I’d be scared. I didn’t really feel that he brought anything new to the song other than a little bit of an edgier sound, but he did a good job and he didn’t disappoint me with his performance.

Syesha Mercado
Proud Mary (Tina Turner)

This is an iconic song, so it might backfire on her. We’ll see. She was pitchy and choppy through the beginning part of the song. And the big part was a little screechy. I like that she tried something a little out of her comfort zone, but it just didn’t work for me.

Jason Castro
I Shot the Sheriff (Bob Marley)

Good to hear Jason singing a song he knows and likes. I think he gave an entertaining performance, but it wasn’t nearly as good as some of his other performances. I didn’t think it was nearly as bad as Simon thought. I thought he really played to the audience and had a good time.

David Archuleta
Stand By Me (Ben E. King)

This may be shocking, but I actually didn’t hate this. In fact, this may be my favorite performance he’s had. That doesn’t mean I think he should win, but it was probably the best performance of the first round.

David Cook
Baba O’Riley (The Who)

As he said, this is also an iconic rock song, so let’s see what he can do with it. Well, vocally I thought it was a very very good performance. I’m not sure if he really brought a lot new to the song, but he definitely did it justice.

Syesha Mercado
Change Is Gonna Come (Sam Cooke)

I thought there were some good parts and some bad parts in this song. Some exciting parts and some boring parts. This was just a mixed bag for me and I agree with Randy - it was a little disconnected.

Jason Castro
Mr. Tambourine Man (Bob Dylan)

Well, this may be the kiss of death for Jason. He forgot his lyrics and I think he’s ready to be done anyway. Other than that, though, it was a decent performance. Not great, not awful. Just not a great night for Jason. I think he phoned it in a bit tonight.

David Archuleta
Love Me Tender (Elvis Presley)

Didn’t like this performance too much at all. I don’t like people messing around with Elvis. The end.

My ranking:
David Cook
David Archuleta
Syesha Mercado
Jason Castro

I think Jason and Syesha will be the bottom 2 and it’s a toss-up as to who goes. Even though I like Jason, I think it’s time for him to go and I think he’s pretty done with it all anyway, at least that’s what it seemed like tonight.

Neil Diamond medley time from the Top 5.

Recap time.

Results…

Jason Castro is…safe!

David Archuleta is…safe!

David Cook is…safe!

So that means Brooke White and Syesha Mercado are…the bottom 2.

Natasha Bedingfield performs.

Ugh. Stupid viewer phone calls again. Didn’t we skip that last week? I don’t remember.

Well what do you know? There was an adorable call from a woman who was Simon’s first kiss when he was 9 years old. Best call ever. They should now retire it on a good note. Just sayin’.

The Ford video is a very earth friendly one.

Neil Diamond performs.

Final results…

Syesha Mercado is…safe!

Brooke White is…going home.

Well, I hate to see her go, but it was probably time, although I thought it would be Syesha tonight. I think it’s pretty clear that a guy is going to win this season for only the 3rd time in seven seasons. And it’s probably going to be a guy named David. But which guy named David?

As much as I don’t care for Archuleta, the teen voting brigade is pretty overwhelming, so here are my picks for the how the final four will finish the show:

Syesha will go home next week.
Jason will go home the week after that.
David Archuleta and David Cook will battle it out in the 2nd all male final and I think David Cook will come out on top. If I have anything to do with it anyway. I’ll be voting double barreled that night if it’s between the two of them.

Jason Castro
Forever in Blue Jeans; September Morn

1. This is actually the perfect type of music for Jason. I mean, really, who better to sing about being forever in blue jeans than Jason? It was a little laid back, but a very good performance vocally.

2. This was a good performance vocally, but it was overall kind of boring unfortunately. Jason is just so laid back which is what I like about him, but sometimes he’s a little too laid back.

David Cook
I’m Alive; All I Really Need Is You

1. I really love I’m Alive. One of my favorite Neil Diamond songs. And a perfect choice for David. I think the rocker and the two folkies are going to have the easiest time with the music this week. Loved this performance. He brought an edge to the song and it was terrific.

2. I love when David shows his softer side and then rocks out. And I loved this performance. It gave me goosebumps. And that doesn’t happen all the time. He just really has something special and he is a star. And he needs to be the first guy to win since Taylor.

Brooke White
I’m a Believer; I Am, I Said

1. I LOVE this song. I remember the Monkees doing it before Shrek ever came along. She was a little pitchy, but it was nice to see Brooke doing something fun and upbeat and I like what she did with the melody. It was good to see her cut loose after the tough break she had last week.

2. I love Brooke the most when she plays the piano. Somehow it just suits her to be sit at the piano and play and sing. And this is the best she’s sung in a few weeks. You go Brookie!

David Archuleta
Sweet Caroline/Comin’ to America

1. *sigh* Why did he have to pick two of my favorite songs? I didn’t really care for his arrangement of Sweet Caroline. It doesn’t need all that fluff. It’s a simple song and that’s what it needs to be. He sang well I guess. But here’s the thing with this song. My husband’s old old band used to do this and the reason I love this song is the because of the leader of the band and his love of the song and his performance. He would never have made it on American Idol, because he’s not a super duper singer, but he is an awesome entertainer, and I hate to hear anyone destroy the song he made me love.

2. I don’t know what key he was singing in, but it wasn’t exactly the key the band was playing in. This song needs a little grit in your voice, which he doesn’t have. And I just didn’t believe him. I didn’t believe he knew what he was singing about or got the real meaning of the song. And I just didn’t really care for it. And the tempo was too slow. It just didn’t work for me. Can he go home already? Seriously?

Syesha Mercado
Hello Again; Thank the Lord for the Nighttime

1. I think this was a good song choice for her, although it felt like she got a little screamy during the high part.

2. She was a bit flat at the beginning of the song and that’s too bad because it marred what was otherwise a really good performance. I think she made good song choices. And I think Neil Diamond is a brilliant songwriter.

My ranking:
1. David Cook
2. Syesha Mercado
3. Brooke White
4. Jason Castro
5. David Archuleta (because he killed two of my favorite songs)

The group song is All I Ask of You accompanied by Andrew Lloyd Webber himself on the piano. Wow. I love this song. *sigh* And they didn’t totally butcher it. Props to them for that!

Ryan tells us that the American Idol Live Tour is kicking off in Glendale, Arizona this year. I’m sure that has something to do with one Miss Jordin Sparks. (Get well soon, Jordin!)

Recap time. I had to put my fingers in my ears again when they recapped Archuleta’s horrific arrangement of Think of Me.

A chat onstage with Andrew Lloyd Webber. He is veddy English, but he also seems to be a nice man who enjoyed working with the kids. And he had some very kind words for Brooke regarding restarting her song, saying that the rest of the performance was flawless. I like what Randy said about how people think Broadway songs are so easy, but that they really aren’t. And that is very true. But I love them anyway. It takes a lot of skill as a vocalist to be able to sing a show tune.

This week’s Ford commercial is sort of an Aha (remember them?) take on Tainted Love. Hard to explain really. You just have to take my word for it.

David Cook and David Archuleta come out together and they both are…safe!

Ryan tells us that next week’s mentor will be Neil Diamond. I totally want David Cook to do Sweet Caroline. Can’t you just hear it? Oh yeah baby! And if David Archuleta does Heartlight I will puke.

Simon Cowell introduces Leona Lewis who won the British version of American Idol I believe.

Syesha and Brooke come out next. I’m thinking one is safe and one is not.

Brooke White is…safe? Wow. That shocks me. Brooke was pretty shocked herself and she apologized to Syesha.

Syesha Mercado is…in the bottom 2. That infernal first position did it again. Wow. I think that it’s probably Syesha’s turn to go this week since it’s not Brooke. She’s been in the bottom 3 several times, but it’s unfortunate that she is in the bottom this week when she had a really great performance.

Carly and Jason are up next after the break. It’s a toss-up here. Carly has been a bottom dweller, but she had a strong night and Jason didn’t have one of his strongest performances. You know what I love about Jason? He just doesn’t take this whole thing too seriously, and I think that’s a healthy thing.

Jason Castro is…safe!

Carly Smithson is…in the bottom 2. Wow again.

As much as I love Brooke and Jason, America got this totally totally wrong. It’s a shame after those performances that one of them will go home. But as Simon said it’s at the point of the competition that every elimination is a tough one.

Next, Carly and Syesha get to sing their songs again. At least we don’t have to listen to painful performances. We get peppy happy performances instead. Honestly, I hope Carly stays. She has a better chance of winning the competition than Syesha does. Syesha can go off and be the next Jennifer Hudson.

Carly and Ryan were having quite the conversation during Syesha’s performance. Wonder what they were talking about?

Now it’s time for the final results…

Syesha is…safe!

Carly is…going home. Wow. That is just a shame. A complete and total shame. And very very sad. Just wow.

You are stupid America. STUPID. Two out of the last 3 weeks you have been STUPID. But it’s just not going to get any easier next week. Every elimination is going to hurt from here on out. Okay, if David Archuleta got eliminated, that would not hurt, but other than that.