Kelly. Ruben. Fantasia. Carrie. Taylor. Jordin. David. But which David will it be?

They start out staring each other down both dressed in white. Someone hire David Archuleta a posture coach. *sigh*

Anyway, on with the 1 hours and 55 minutes of mostly pointless filler before we actually get to the results. 97.5 million votes. Wow. Broke the record by 23 million. One received 56% and one 44%. Several of those are my votes for David Cook. But I kept getting busy signals. I took that as a good sign.

Former Idols Mikalah Gordon and Matt Rogers are in Missouri and Utah respectively at very loud pep rallies for the two Davids.

The Top 12 are reunited on the Idol stage along with stars of So You Think You Can Dance performing Get Ready. At least this way there is actually good dancing AND good singing.

Next up is a duet by the two Davids. And it was actually pretty good.

The next stupid and pointless “comedy” bit, I can’t really describe. Nor do I want to. So we’ll just never speak of it again. And American Idol needs to give me back the 5 minutes of my life they stole from me.

Syesha sings with Seal.

Jason Castro sings Hallelujah.

A montage of Ford commercial outtakes leading to the presentation of the keys to Ford Escape Hybrids to the Davids.

The top 6 girls are back singing Donna Summer songs - all dressed in red. I really like Kristy Lee’s dress. Amanda looked so not thrilled doing choreography and I didn’t like Carly’s black tights, but they both sounded good. Then Donna Summer herself joins them to sing her new single. Of course. Because really, does anyone come on just to come on and NOT promote their new single/album/movie/etc.? I loved when Donna gave Syesha her blinged out microphone to sing on. But why didn’t Ramiele get a solo?

Carly Smithson duets with Michael Johns. Welcome back you Aussie American hunk you!

Jimmy Kimmel recaps the season. I just really hope he doesn’t talk about Simon’s nipples again. Really.

Now it’s time for the Top 6 boys singing a Bryan Adams medley. Guess who has a new album out? You got it. Bryan Adams. Did Chikezie get a solo and I missed it? By the way, David Hernandez is the best dancer of the Davids.

Jordin pimps the American Idol Experience at Walt Disney World.

David Cook sings with ZZ Top. OMG!!!!! Now that is cool.

Brooke White and Graham Nash singing Teach Your Children.

The Jonas Brothers. Lots of screaming girls. They are pretty cute I must admit.

Next, it’s the best of the bad auditions. Is that an oxymoron? And one of them sings on the Idol stage. That’s when I go for my fast forward button.

One Republic. They are cool.

Jordin sings. Or lip syncs. Not sure if her voice is healed yet. But the cute part was showing Blake in the audience singing along with her.

Another stupid comedy bit that I won’t bother to describe. Give me back my time American Idol!!!

Carrie Underwood is looking and sounding good.

The Top 12 sing together for the last time. And they’re doing George Michael songs. Could George Michael be the next special guest? Well, yes, he is. Does he have a new album out? I don’t know, but he is going on tour. And that was a beautiful, introspective performance.

Did Archuleta sing with someone and I missed it? (Edited to add: He sang with One Republic - somehow I totally missed that.)

And finally, it’s time for the new American Idol to be crowned. It’s about damn time.

Simon Cowell apologizes to David Cook for his harsh critiques last night. Wow. And also, he doesn’t care who wins. For the first time.

And the winner is….

DAVID COOK!!!!!